Jack and the Beastalk as told by Poppy

Once there was a boy. His name was Jack. He had a mum and dad and they had a cow called Daisy. One day, Jack had to go and sell Daisy. But Jack found a man standing on a road.

He said, “Where are you going?”

Jack said, “I am going to the market.”

“You don’t want to go to the market to sell your cow. You want some magic beans,” said the man.

Jack rushed home to tell his mum and dad. Mum and Dad were very angry. They opened the window and threw out the beans. Jack was sent to sleep.

The next day, when Jack woke up, he went to make mum and dad a cup of tea to say sorry. But he saw a giant beanstalk. He started to climb. He climbed and climbed from leaf to leaf. When he got to the top, he saw a huge castle. Jack knocked on the big door and an old woman called Poppy answered it.

“Oh, I am so hungry,” Jack said.

“Oh, my goodness,” the old lady, called Poppy, answered. She sent him in the castle. As he was so hungry, she made him some toast and butter.

She said, “Please eat it all up before my Ogre comes home.”

Jack ate and ate but the wife’s Ogre came home. There was big thunder bang, bang bang.

“Quick,” said the lady, “get in the freezer.”

There was a huge bang on the door but Poppy was too busy putting Jack in the freezer. Just in time, she let the ogre called Ben in.

Ben said, “Fee, fi, fo, fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman. I’ll cook his bones to make my bread.”

Then he sat down and had his breakfast. He had a couple of smelly baby wipes (because ogres eat baby wipes).

Then Ben shouted, “Wife, bring me my harp.”

Poppy went to a secret room. She came back into the room. She had a harp. On the harp it said, ‘This belongs to Jack, Mumma and Dad.’

“Play me PJ Masks songs,“ said the ogre to the harp.

The harp played the songs.

“Wife, get me my golden hen,” shouted Ben.

The wife went off to the secret room again. She came back with a golden chicken and put it down on the table.

“Chicken, lay me a golden egg,” said the ogre.

The hen did it.

The harp said, “I am sorry I don’t know how to lay an egg.”

“Not you, harp!” the giant said.

Then the giant got fed up.

“Wife!” he shouted.

“Yes?”

“Bring me my money.”

So she ran off to the secret room, came back with a money bag and put it on the table.

The giant counted “1-2-3-4-5…” and then fell asleep.

Jack got some chips out of his jeans and some ice lollies from his hair then jumped out of the freezer.

He ran to the table then grabbed everything. He put the harp under his shoulder, carried the hen in his hand and put the money in his pocket.

He said, “Now harp, be quiet.”

“I am sorry I don’t know how to be quiet,” the harp answered. But Jack switched off the switch anyway.

Jack got to the bottom of the beanstalk. He shouted for his mum to bring the axe.

The ogre woke up and stomped angrily. Then he stopped being angry and hot and calmed down. But he fell into the compost heap because Jack’s mum and dad had already chopped the beanstalk down.

The ogre was so dirty that he had to go and have a bath. I think he is still there.

Everybody else lived happily ever after. Except for a squirrel called Eddie who was so sad that the ogre had to go and have a bath.

The End